I have never felt under such spiritual attack from every direction and have often felt extremely weak, vulnerable and absolutely dependent on God to make it through. I am learning this is a good place to be despite it being painful and hard. On many occasions I have wanted to give up and go home and go back to that which I think is “comfortable and safe”. But I am realising that in these situations it gives us a precious opportunity to really stand firm and trust in the promises of God. Having faith to believe for things when you see no sign of them coming to fruition isn’t easy but it’s something as believers we all need to learn. It is so clear in the Bible that having faith in a difficult place is so precious to God.
“Three things last forever ; faith, hope and love ….and the greatest of these is love”
The hardest time was over a period of about 2 weeks where Satan tried everything to get me back on a plane to the UK. I was pulled off my motorbike by thieves whilst driving at speed (thanks to everyone who prayed for me), I felt terrified to go out of the house, our landlord then wanted to sell our house, Key staff members left, there was a landslide in our centre knocking a huge wall down, physically I felt exhausted and hot due to pregnancy and various people who I have been ministering to were not doing too well. Satan also made me feel isolated, alone, useless and the usual things he lies to us about. I also felt like a bad mother by coming to Cambodia whilst pregnant and many people made it clear they thought it was irresponsible. In addition many of our team were experiencing really weird dreams and generally struggling to rest. During this time it seemed like it was such a struggle to connect with God ; the reality however is that God never leaves us or forsakes us and I know Jesus is always with me giving me such strength and sustaining us with love.
Then thank God that after waiting months and months to be able to open our children’s centre we finally got breakthrough! After a long season of prayer, worship, declarations and patience we managed to get incredible favour from the government and have been granted permission to open. This is really incredible as this is a time where the government are closing many NGO’s and not renewing their permission to operate. We have been given miraculous favour in order for this to happen. In addition to this God has blessed us with 3 new incredible Cambodian staff members who we have also been praying in for months; who were interviewed the same day the government official decided to come! Such a glorious day of breakthrough and progress!
“So my dear brothers and sisters be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord. For you know nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless”
It was during this difficult season that God sent us the most amazing help and encouragement which not only kept us going but imparted such wisdom, love and enthusiasm for this next season also.
We were so honoured to have a team from Jackson Mississippi join us for a few days. We had 5 amazing women come and they each taught us so much and reminded us of why we were here and how we have no reason to be afraid! They are from one of the most dangerous, deprived, hostile places in America and deal with so much brokenness, gun-crime and violence. They are doing amazing things to bring love to a place and a people that has been abandoned and rejected by most (their ministry is called We Will Go). It was a privilege going to the slums, the bars and our centre with them. They burned with such a passion for the people of Cambodia is made me realise sometimes I am too narrow-visioned in my desire to love and bring help to people. The streets are full of people who need love ; the struggling parents, the street children , the sex- tourists , the ex-pats, fellow missionaries , fellow team members. It’s been so good to remind myself that God calls us to love everyone ; everyone is lost without him and everyone needs love and encouragement and family! Sometimes we can get so caught up in programs and what we need to do and to achieve that we can forget to love the people who God puts in front of us. We can get busy with other things that we don’t listen to His voice and actually be willing and brave enough to give people words of life and truth.
“ Let love be your highest goal”
It was also really good for these bold women to impart boldness and fearlessness; I felt like a weight had lifted and the reality of God’s goodness and his faithfulness and love destroys all fear and anxiety! It was inspiring to see them fearlessly approach people and share the gospel and not be held back by fear of man or anything; it gave me such a hunger to be able to do that same and walk in the confidence of my true identity as a daughter of God.
Even in the testing times God is always lavish in providing everything we need. Whether it is supernatural peace resting upon me after a motorbike accident or Him sending an incredible team out from the other side the world to us to come and encourage and strengthen us to keep going. He is such a faithful caring Father and He is so worthy of it all!
Thank you so much for your continued prayers, encouragement and support. All of which are so precious and valuable to us. We love and appreciate you all greatly.
Lots of Love Mollie and Steve